This Fun Friday post is guested by Edie Melson – http://www.thewriteconversation.blogspot.com
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Forbidden Phrases
Below is my list of comments I’ve received over the past years since I’ve come out as a writer. Following each is what I wanted to say. I’m happy to report that I’ve never (at least until now) given in to the temptation.
Top 20 Things to NEVER Say to a Writer!
- 1. Are you published? (I really don’t have the space here to get into this. I usually just do a mental eye-roll.)
- 2. I have an idea for something you should write about. We could split the profits. (yeah, I do all the work and you get half of almost nothing. Sounds like a deal to me…)
- 3. I wrote a book, can you contact your publisher/agent for me? (You really wouldn’t like what I had to say about you.)
- 4. Why don’t you take the day off, it’s not like you work for a living. (unprintable reply)
- 5. Can I read your manuscript? (Like I don’t have enough stress in my life already)
- 6. Writing must be the easiest job in the world. (If you like 20-hour days, pennies per hour, horrific critiques, and serving up your heart for others to chew on daily.)
- 7. Anyone can write a book, what else do you do? (see number 6)
- 8. You should get that published. (Really? Like I hadn’t thought of that.)
- 9. I’ve heard that if you….you’ll be a much better writer. (Nothing I like better than advice from someone who has no clue.)
- 10. Aren’t you finished with that yet? (I am, I just decided not to submit it.)
- 11. I hate reading, it’s such a waste of time. (unprintable reply)
- 12. Have you ever written anything I might have read? (Yes, if morons could read.)
- 13. Will you read my manuscript? (*running and screaming in the other direction*)
- 14. Are you still doing that writing thing? (Believe me, if I could quit, I would.)
- 15. When can I get your book for free? (What part of “I do this for a living” do you not understand?)
- 16. Can you edit/write my essay for me? (I write commercially, not academically. There is a difference.)
- 17. Will you make me a character? (Only if I can kill you.)
- 18. What do you do with all your spare time? (in the vein of number 17, why don’t you come over and find out…)
- 19. Writing, can you make a living at that?
- 20. Writing, it must be nice to make so much money for not doing anything
For more about Edie, go to http://www.thewriteconversation.blogspot.com ( The comments on this particular blog are entertaining, as well!)
Thanks Edie, for sharing.
Great post! Some people just don’t get it, do the?. Bless their hearts!
Oh, another. My daughter Debbie Robus and her husband founded Workamper News, a highly successful, nationally-read magazine for RVers. People often ask her, “Do you still have that little newspaper?” (No, they don’t–they sold the company half a dozen years ago–and it’s still very successful!)
I’ve had most of these. But the most remembered was from a fourth grader in elementary school library when I told the class I was going to read a story I had written. With big eyes, she looked at me and asked: “Are you published?” Yes, I often have people tell me, “You should write about him/her!” OK–where’s the market? Indeed, there are lots of interesting people with interesting stories out there–but where are you going to find a publishing home for that? I once had a man ask me about enrolling in my writing class. He wanted to be an outdoors writer. He asked: “How soon can I quit my day job?”
Unprintable reply, indeed.
I “came out” as a writer to a good portion of my coworkers, yesterday. “Introduce yourself, tell us your name, how long you’ve been at the company, and something about yourself” became, “…and I’m an aspiring writer.”
We’ll see how many of these I get.