I recently had to be fingerprinted to get qualified for a permit.  The person who was qualifying me told me “It’s no big deal.  Just go to the local police department and they will do it for you.”

So I did.

They were right.  The policeman was courteous, we joked through the 5-minute process, and I went on my way and sent in the application for the permit.

I got it back.

The accompanying letter says the prints I sent in are not acceptable. Would I please go to any of the sites listed below and have them done again with another process? Oh, and an appointment is required.

Well, sure.  Except none of the sites are in my area, so I have to take a half day off of work to go to any of them.

Apparently, this happens a lot.  Friends said, “Oh, yes.  I went through that, too.  You can go to the sheriff’s department (not listed in the letter) and they will use another process that will work.” Another friend said his wife had to go to Little Rock State Police to get it done – nothing else worked.  Sigh.

I called the number on the letter to ask if I could try the sheriff’s office first.  The lady on the other end of the line said “Whatever you want to do,” in a voice that reeked of non-interest – like HAL in 2001, a Space Odyssey. No, I take that back.  HAL showed more emotion.   I believe if I had said I was going to blow up her house, she would have gone to sleep.

I said, “Thanks.  I appreciate your help!” in a cheerful tone that I only hoped dripped with sarcasm.

So I’ll try the sheriff.  But all this makes me wonder.  What do they do about all those prints that local law enforcement take of people who have actually been arrested?  Do we REALLY have useless fingerprints on file at all the police stations? 

If so, why do we bother?

And, from a writer’s standpoint, wouldn’t that be a great thing to know when writing a mystery? Hmmm… they would find (after the suspect made bail and disappeared) that the prints they took were no good.  I’ve seen shows where they said the prints on the scene weren’t good…but what if the REAL problem was that they had so many bad sets in their system that they weren’t finding any match?  You know, they can only find a match if the criminal has already got a GOOD set of prints on file.  Just another obstacle for our hero to overcome!

Other things probably work the same way – like DNA.

My own experiences raised questions, like this thing with the fingerprints.  Sometimes when I’m working on a story I  talk to local people – lawyers, doctors, policemen, politicians, etc…to find out how things really work.  Info-books, television and movies usually reflect the workings of a metropolis, or large government organization (think FBI or CIA).  But small towns don’t have the budget, the facilities or equipment, or the experts available for a lot of the techniques used by larger cities. 

You’d be surprised at how willing people are to talk about the problems they have on the job.

Just another way to make it real.